Ok, so I don't recall how it all came about but we were all sitting down for dinner and the boys were going back and forth bickering, doing their usual, which is annoying each other until somebody yells at each other and hence gets in trouble.  To which somebody mentioned the ever-imaginative "BUT HE MADE ME DO IT" excuse, to which the ever so popular "nobody can make you do anything" parental response was issued.

After some back and forth of why and how these situations build and require the willingness of both parties, before they can escalate into actual trouble, the words "Domino Effect" were mentioned, which triggered an immediate search and rescue operation and everyone went to find that box of those small, white tiles.

Within minutes, Explora had setup some tiles in a row and started explaining the domino effect put in the context of bickering - annoying, bickering - annoying and eventual yelling at each other, which means getting in trouble.   When he asked why Lawya annoys his brother so much..... something amazing happened, Lawya had a moment of self-discovery and you could literally see the light-bulb go off on his face:

"you know what? I don't know why I annoy Island Boy sometimes, I just do it because I'm bored I think..... and now that I hear myself say it that way, that sounds really mean."   

You see, people with ADD sub-consciously create issues and conflict around themselves, because their brain operates very efficiently in chaos or emergency situations, so there is some problem to solve.  So when Explora (the poster-child for ADD) explained all that, Lawya suddenly felt very badly and apologized to his brother in the most sincere way, which only made Island Boy angry and aggressive about having gotten in trouble so many times, when it was (probably) really Lawya that started it all.  Any sub-sequent attempts by Lawya to get Island Boy to try working on removing a domino tile (i.e. stop annoying or yelling), as to not create the domino effect fell on deaf ears:

"if I put in all this effort to stop yelling and you just continue to annoy me and won't stop, then it's all a waste anyway and I just can't trust you, as you've done that to me sooo many times and you don't even know that you're doing it"

And with that, Island Boy started crying and walked away from the conversation.

As his nick-name might imply.... sincerity isn't one of Lawya's prominent traits, but he was exactly that and followed Island Boy, talking about "truce" and "we can help each other" and even going as far as offering the most sincere brother to brother hug I've ever seen...... which just made Island Boy cry even more until he walked to his bedroom and shut the door.

(What you are hearing now is the sound of my heart breaking)

As touching and sad as it was to so see Lawya put forth so much offer while Island Boy was blowing him off... that was just not the right time to force anyone to do anything.....so I did what any loving parent would do - NOTHING!
Which is when Lawya (which usually operated on the "I am willing to try most things once, but if they don't work out perfectly the first time then they're not worth my time" method) did the completely unexpected and followed Island Boy into the bedroom, muttering something like... "you know what, I know just how to convince him to work on this with me".


Oh, if only I had super-spy hearing I might have been able to make out more than some "go away" and "no way, I won't", but after a few minutes, Lawya came out of their room to inform us that he and his brother were having a private conversation and that they were now going to lock the door (not usually allowed at our house) so their little sisters could not walk in. 

And as much as I wished to be a fly on the wall at that very moment, I really couldn't have wished for anything else, as my two young men (7 and 9 for those who don't know) were having a 'private' discussion (read negotiation) on how to solve something together, that was creating problems for both of them.  And what else could any parent want, than to enable their kids with the tools they WILL need once they go off on their own.



When the two of them came out, they both looked about a foot taller and Island Boy was smiling. 
Then both boys stood arm in arm and proclaimed that they had come to a truce and that they would work not only on their own behaviour but would help each other recognize it and that even though it would take some time and set-backs - they were willing to put forth the effort if it ended up help each other. 
When Explora asked exactly how they came up with that conclusion, both boys didn't say a thing.
They simply smiled at each other and said "it was a private conversation, sorry".
(sound of me cheering my young men on)