I've been working on/struggling with taking some "me" time lately, and believe it or not, I've actually managed to pickup a fantastic book (more on that later) that is asking some basic questions and provides some suggestions on how to deal with the answers.

One sentence that stuck with me and has made me questions a whole lot of stuff is "when is the last time you celebrated an accomplishment?"


Frankly, I don't recall ever really celebrating an accomplishment of mine/of ours as a family. 
We cash the checks that come in due to our work silently and from the kids perspective - food and transportation and a roof over their heads comes from magical sources - not because of anyone's effort. 
This point was confirmed when I told the kids one day we didn't have enough money to get a trampoline here in Anguilla (if you ignore the fact that you can't buy them here).  Their simple answer to that statement was "then get more from the machine at the bank or use your credit card".  (sigh) NICE!

So if we as parents don't celebrate what we accomplish, even in little ways, how will we ever be able to convince our kids that they should do the same thing (work and maybe have a family) when they grow up?
When I watch our family, going through the notions, get up and eat breakfast, go to school/work, come home and play and eat dinner etc.... to what end do we do all that work?

And if there is never a point of "we've reached the goal" (since neither the kids nor I will ever stop eating and hence needing to be provided for), then what IS the goal of doing all that daily effort?
In Europe (and most parts of the world) at least there are family holidays that have a resemblance of "a goal" or periodic celebration of your daily effort, but in the US there isn't such a thing and vacations are a luxury.

Until about a month ago, I have never rewarded myself.  I don't mean never, ever, ...I did buy a camera last year for myself, but I'm not talking about the rewards that take money - I'm talking about the little things... the "stop and smell the (FREE) roses" daily things.

I have always thought that as a person, and more specifically as a parent, your globally understood duties are to provide - no questions asked, no reward given - every parent just accepts that responsibilities when you signed on that dotted line....i.e have kids. 
I never though that NOT providing was an option, nor do I understand that being a perceived option to any other human being on this earth.  Providing is simply what every parent does and never in a million years would have even considered rewarding myself for doing so. 

Even IF I would have thought my daily accomplishments to be note-worthy, I would have never taken the time to do anything about it, because that would have meant working an hour/30min less that day, and I might have missed an important call during that time - one that might mean that providing for my family would be even more difficult in the future (due to less business).
Alternatively, taking an hour to celebrate would have meant taking an hour of "kid time" away from them, and surely a good parent just rushes to work, and then rushes back to their family, every single day, right?


If I don't celebrate the little things about what I do, then how can I possible teach the kids, that the things they do deserve acknowledgment?  If I don't show the kids that your own accomplishments are note-worthy, who else will show them that they are special and should never take themselves for granted?

To me, "how often do you celebrate" means much more than "celebrating" in the traditional sense, it meand acknowledging the end of a school/work week or "we did 12 loads of laundry this week".... it means rewarding myself by granting myself a break, which at this point feels very foreign.....
It means granting myself a nap on the weekend, instead of cleaning that extra hour.
It means saying "no" to watching a movie with the kids and reading a book by myself instead.
It means ignoring email and turning on some re-charging music for 15 minutes during the day when I feel worn out.
It means taking a detour on the way to work, and driving by a stunning beach to take a 5minute look.

Perhaps it seems silly that I've never done any of that, but besides the fact that "this is what people do" (and it hence is nothing special that deserves recognition)..... I've been too busy. 
And yes, that answer sounds stupid to me as well, right this second, and yet I'm willing to bet that almost all of you do the same thing.

How often do you sit by yourself and just look at the beautiful things that surround you?
How often do you take a few minutes to celebrate/appreciate what you have worked for?