There are some things in life that are less than significant in a greater scale....
like having someone cut in line ahead of you....
waking up late to a big meeting.....
having spinach in your teeth while trying to impress someone.... 
incoherent software documentation.... 
but those are all things that will work themselves out with just a little bit of time, nothing to lose sleep over.

But this article called " what is the definition of chocolate" is NOT one of those minor things in life.  The short version is that the FDA is in possession of a petition, that is suggesting the use of vegetable oil instead of cocoa butter in chocolate. 
Why you ask?
Because it's cheaper.

(deep breath)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HOW DO YOU DEFINE CHOCOLATE"?
Chocolate is chocolate!
Like black is black.... as in "THERE ARE NO TWO DIFFERENT WAYS TO DEFINE A COMPLETE ABSENCE OF COLOR!!"
(On second though internet search, apparently there is more than one way to define black, but just work with me for the sake of the argument, ok?)

Chocolate, I tell you, is serious stuff!

There are reports that the Maya were growing cocoa trees as early as 600 AD.  They were the first to have figured out how to make "Xocolatl" by fermenting, roasting and grinding the cocoa beans, before mixing them with water, spices and honey.  This chocolate drink was said to be a potion against many ailments and even associated with the Goddess of Fertility. 

In the 16th century, Cortez took the first cocoa beans and processing equipment to Spain, and soon the chocolate drink spread to France, where having a cup of cocoa was a status symbol.
But chocolate didn't find it's way to my native Switzerland until 1819, when François-Louis Cailler opened the first mechanized chocolate production facilities, in the French part of Switzerland. 

Soon other famous chocolate lovers, such as Suchard, Sprüngli, Maestrani, Munz and Tobler opened their own chocolate factories all over Switzerland and soon milk chocolate and "conching" (mixing and melting chocolate) was invented.

(Maestrani chocolate factory I visited last month in Flawil, Switzerland)


Chocolate is an experience!
REAL chocolate is made of cocoa solids, meaning butter and cocoa power, and while it can be toxic to some animals, it affects the human serotonin levels in a most exquisite way.
REAL chocolate stimulates your brain in ways a passionate kiss does, and can even lower your blood pressure.
REAL chocolate has a melting point slightly below that of the human body, which also makes is an exquisite experience to eat.

When I was in "Pfadfinder" camp as a kid, I once made chocolate from scratch - the scent of the roasting beans with the feel of the cocoa bean paste like putty in my hands is something I will never forget.

My brother, a former confisseur, once made a 1 meter tall Eiffel Towel out of chocolate, much like the Reichstag pictured below, which was the most amazing chocolate structure I've ever seen.  That damn thing taunted me from the corner of our living room for weeks (and no, I never got to eat ANY of it).



Chocolate is an experience!
Have you ever had a piece of dark (>60% cocoa) chocolate with a glass of red wine?
I didn't say "eat" on purpose, as the best way to enjoy dark chocolate is to allow it to melt and unfold all of it's flavour.   Try it sometimes, it's amazing!

Have you ever stirred melted chocolate? 
I did that just last night while making dark chocolate mousse, and I promise you, just the process of doing it will raise your serotonin levels.

(self-control is fading... must.... go to fridge... get... some now)



Ok, am better now... where were we....

Sure, there are many different KINDS of chocolate and next time you see me, feel free to argue (with comparative samples) which kind you like best, but come on... let's not get carried away.

Chocolate made with vegetable oil?  Say it ain't so!