Buckets of Opportunity
When we decided to move to Anguilla about two years ago, we sold the house in Texas and got rid/gave away all furniture and most of our belongings. We ended up moving with 12 plastic bins like the one's below, which held all of our essential things, clothes, my amazing pans and knives and just a few toys for the kids.
Coming from the US, the kids were used to an insane amount of toys, even though we'd spend each Christmas/birthdays discouraging everyone from buying tons.
The difference between adults and kids is that as long as there is a history of being loved and fed each day before a major change, they will not question the change itself. Kids accept change as the simple reality of THAT day, and since they were loved and fed each day prior, they have no reason to worry or fear change.
Many people ask how the kids reacted to moving from a major suburban US city to such a tiny Caribbean island.
The kids, then ages 8, 6, and barely 3 and 3 merely got up the next morning in their new room, in their new house, in their new country - and asked for breakfast!
They also didn't really notice the lack of toys for almost a year and it wasn't until they went back to visit the US, that they drew the comparison between what they had and now have. That's when they started to feel they were missing something and they started complaining about not having a video game console etc.
Now each time we visit the US, it gets just a little bit harder to get them back mentally.... to get them to be happy with what we have here - which is hardly anything at all. But so far they always adjust back to playing outside with hermit crabs, coconuts and sand instead of with Nintendo's and action figures.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti toys, I'm just anti- "excessive-commercialization".
We moved here for several reasons, the biggest for me was to raise the kids in a much simpler way of life.
Being surrounded by things tends to create perceived needs and when you end up not getting those perceived needs met, discontent breeds.
Dang, that was a big sentence, let me say that in a way even geeks can relate to.... when you go to the electronics store, you have no idea how much you need ______ (fill in the blank gadget) until you see it sitting there, shiny and new, in it's pretty box, right? And it's only when you see things available, that you feel like you were previously missing something.
This was supposed to be a post about the contaminated aqua-dots that I almost bought for the kids during my last US business trip, but somehow it ended up as something totally different.
The point is, in the US, I cannot teach my kids the things they're learning here, because they're constantly surrounded by stuff. They also can't go outside and roam the neighborhood freely and explore.
Here they're forced to come up with solutions, make something out of nothing, exercise their creativity and they go roam the island whenever they want to.
I am amazingly proud of my kids and all the things they've already learned here this past 18 months!
And I'm not just saying that because one such island excursion yesterday ended up in an absolutely gorgeous surprise waiting for me on the steps to our house, as I got home from the office.
“If you want to see what a child can do, stop giving them things; give them opportunities!” ~Norman Douglas.
Coming from the US, the kids were used to an insane amount of toys, even though we'd spend each Christmas/birthdays discouraging everyone from buying tons.
The difference between adults and kids is that as long as there is a history of being loved and fed each day before a major change, they will not question the change itself. Kids accept change as the simple reality of THAT day, and since they were loved and fed each day prior, they have no reason to worry or fear change.
Many people ask how the kids reacted to moving from a major suburban US city to such a tiny Caribbean island.
The kids, then ages 8, 6, and barely 3 and 3 merely got up the next morning in their new room, in their new house, in their new country - and asked for breakfast!
They also didn't really notice the lack of toys for almost a year and it wasn't until they went back to visit the US, that they drew the comparison between what they had and now have. That's when they started to feel they were missing something and they started complaining about not having a video game console etc.
Now each time we visit the US, it gets just a little bit harder to get them back mentally.... to get them to be happy with what we have here - which is hardly anything at all. But so far they always adjust back to playing outside with hermit crabs, coconuts and sand instead of with Nintendo's and action figures.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti toys, I'm just anti- "excessive-commercialization".
We moved here for several reasons, the biggest for me was to raise the kids in a much simpler way of life.
Being surrounded by things tends to create perceived needs and when you end up not getting those perceived needs met, discontent breeds.
Dang, that was a big sentence, let me say that in a way even geeks can relate to.... when you go to the electronics store, you have no idea how much you need ______ (fill in the blank gadget) until you see it sitting there, shiny and new, in it's pretty box, right? And it's only when you see things available, that you feel like you were previously missing something.
This was supposed to be a post about the contaminated aqua-dots that I almost bought for the kids during my last US business trip, but somehow it ended up as something totally different.
The point is, in the US, I cannot teach my kids the things they're learning here, because they're constantly surrounded by stuff. They also can't go outside and roam the neighborhood freely and explore.
Here they're forced to come up with solutions, make something out of nothing, exercise their creativity and they go roam the island whenever they want to.
I am amazingly proud of my kids and all the things they've already learned here this past 18 months!
And I'm not just saying that because one such island excursion yesterday ended up in an absolutely gorgeous surprise waiting for me on the steps to our house, as I got home from the office.
“If you want to see what a child can do, stop giving them things; give them opportunities!” ~Norman Douglas.
Great Post, Francie! I certainly wish it was easier to instill some of those ideas in our kids here. My kids are great and I'm certainly proud of how they act and treat others, but that doesn't keep my wife and I from being the "mean parents in town" because we haven't given each kid a cell phone yet! ;-D
I'm sure the experiences they are having now will be with your children for a lifetime. Keep up the good work!
Reply to this
Who needs a cell phone when you have not one but TWO horses
Writing on this blog is sometimes a tricky thing..... I want to share my experience here and in part also inspire people that think "I could never do that", which is hog wash, anyone can do anything as long as they want it badly enough.
So while writing about what works for us I try to be careful to not come across as superior or like everyone else is doing something wrong.
It's not impossible to raise your kids in the US and there isn't anything wrong with buying your kids Nintendo's.
I am glad you guys ecognize that my post wasn't meant that way!
Reply to this
Love that photo - you have very cute kids!
As a family that has undertaken a similar though less dramatic lifestyle shift to yours - we sold up and moved to the country, taking our kids out of school and now educate them at home - we have seen a similar attitude change to you. It is only when we meet up with old friends from "town" that that our 4 kids realise the lack of consoles, designer clothes or expensive cars. Out here they are far more likely to go out and play together, to construct elaborate games out of items they find around, grab a board game to play together or a book to read.
As you point out, when we have to cope with less, very often our lives become so much more enriched.
Thanks for this entry and the rest of your blog
Reply to this
"Being surrounded by things tends to create perceived needs and when you end up not getting those perceived needs met, discontent breeds."
Amen, sister!
Reply to this