So what do you do with an unlikely pipe dream of moving to a Caribbean island you happen to fall in love with during a 14 day long consulting engagement?  Well, if you're sane and you have a full time job, 4 kids, a house, two cars and rooms full of stuff, you do the obvious, which is.....

.....NOTHING!


If you've ever had a vacation fling then you know that those always SEEM like the partner of your dreams.  Partially 'cause you're completely void of stress and know full well you'll never see the other person again and partially because not knowing EVERYTHING about a person allows you to fill in the blanks with your own desires, wishes and fantasies - and that's exactly how I felt about my vacation fling with Anguilla.

Let me make my point another way... go ahead and imagine a Caribbean island for a minute.
No, really.... do it... close your eyes and picture yourself there.
Hear the waves and feel the breeze....
Ok, now open your eyes (which you didn't close anyhow since you were reading this the whole time) and come back to reality. 
Whatever it is you just made up (including the images on this site that fuel those fantasies) - that is NOT what life on a Caribbean island really is like.

The condensed essence of something is always MUCH more alluring than the whole reality and the amazingly beautiful Anguilla is no exception to that rule.
And wouldn't it suck to go through the trouble of moving 6 people across 2500 miles only to find out that your perception of life on a Caribbean island was entirely wrong?

So, nothing happened, with the exception of a little day dreaming from time to time.

Until.....

I got another call from my Anguillian client in March of 2006.  They needed a BES server and training and they wanted it ASAP.  (And don't even get me started on the irony of "BES" on a 30sq mi island nor the "ASAP" part)
A few weeks later my then husband and I were on our way to Anguilla again, this time with actual days off and with the specific purpose of taking a realistic look at moving here.



You know how sometimes, due to no fault or action of your own, simple problems turn into HUGE issues?
Yeah, my second visit to Anguilla was the exact opposite of that and countless obstacles I had no intention of moving, dissolved all on their own.

(inconvenient sigh)

While I have no problem with NOT pursuing something that seems to be impossible, I am not ok with turning my back on something that stands a chance.  And when most barriers to moving here disappeared  - that meant actually having to expand effort, roll up your sleeves and TRY to make it happen.


So 3 months later the house and most belongings in Dallas were sold or given away and I was on a plane on the trip from hell with then barely 3 year old twins and 6 storage buckets, filled with clothes, a few household items and my espresso machine.
The two friends I had invited along our "trial Summer on the island" were already here and the rest of the family and their 6 storage bins was coming to join us shortly.

(my apologies for using the below pic over and over but it's significant and since this is MY blog and you are CHOOSING to read it, you're just going to have to deal with it)


While this would make a most excellent end to a fantastic story.... it didn't quite work out like that.

The house that I assumed had been rented before, turned out to have two pans, no trash cans, no mop, 5 drinking glasses and 6 towels - for the 8 people in our "commune".

Essential things such as transportation or work permits proved to be about 500 times more difficult and expensive than anticipated and there was a lot of "wheel spinning" during that first year in Anguilla.
"Easy" things such as dishes, laundry or running water also turned out to be much more inconvenient as we had (and continue to have) no dishwasher, restaurants (sort of), endless water supply, clothes dryer nor affordable electricity, which makes taking care of/paying for a household of 8 people INCREDIBLY time consuming, expensive and frustrating.


I've talked before about how one piece of the "Anguilla magic" is the absence of things that convolute your ability to see and appreciate the beauty that is all around you. 
Well, when the things that make you happy are so easy to see, the things that do NOT (or no longer) enrich your life, also stick out painfully clear.

Making significant change happen is always inconvenient and painful and I've lost several incredibly significant relationships in the most excruciating ways since moving to Anguilla. 
But instead, I've gained something far greater - the ability to once again listen to myself as a complete, self-sufficient entity and to recognize what I want without compromising away happiness.



Moving away from your "home country" and family at a young age changes your perspective on everything. 
You see the good and the bad of not only the past, but also the present and at some point in my life, I seriously struggled with the lack of a "home".... a country, a place that I felt comfortable and safe in.  I was a "global orphan", not really belonging anywhere.

What I gained from living in Anguilla is no longer feeling the need to HAVE a "home country".
And no, despite what you may think, Anguilla isn't my new permanent home.... it is merely my "home for now". 

Knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that I can CREATE a home for myself and my family, anywhere in this world, is incredibly powerful and opens so many possibilities I would have never been able to conceive before.