Living Fully
The most interesting thing happens after a big project or conference work trip involving 12 - 16 days and being completely over-stimulated. Each time, when I get back from such a trip or get done with a project, it takes me DAYS and conscious effort to stop running around at full speed, check the Blackberry every 5 minutes and respond to any and all queries immediately. This is the "always on" mode where my brain just doesn't stop, I never stop occupying it with constant motion, thought and actions, often even past the point where that is necessary.
The internet has given us such opportunities and talking to a friend via chat last night, it can help you cope with loss or a difficult situation or it can make you feel less removed, as it does for me at times.
Internet access is the main reason I CAN somehow make a living here and out online interactions definitely can form real human bonds, sometimes with perfect strangers.
But that line between work/leisure gets blurry and too much of a good thing becomes..... well, not a good thing anymore.
(amazing sunset that lit the entire sky on fire, the first week we were in Anguilla, June 2006)
I've always enjoyed looking at any given situations from a several different perspectives, which has certainly come in handy while living here in Anguilla and being able to present a balanced positive and negative view of what life is like here.
The main reason I started blogging, Twittering etc, is to share that unique perspective and (hopefully) provide food for though, even if it's just looking at your faucet differently with your never-ending potable water.
Mix this "always on" mode, constant internet access and a desire to share a unique perspective and you have an overstimulated brain that is so noisy it's hard to hear anything significant. The danger there is that this over-stimulation becomes never ending.... almost like an addiction and ultimately, a normal state of mind. At that point you end up creating constant input by what you do, where you go and internet activities to the point where you no longer can actually process anything significant for lack of sitting still or "thinking still", you merely wash over it and drown it with "always on".
(Having been born and raised in Switzerland) I lived in the US for 15 years before coming to Anguilla in the Fall of 2005 for a work project. Something about those few days here (in a concrete hosting center without windows) felt different. There was potential for something I hadn't truly experienced as an adult yet after my whirlwind tour of being assimilated into the American culture, language and way of life, taking care of a handicapped child and eventually going to college to graduate 9 months pregnant.
That potential... was for being still, actually evaluating situations, processing emotions and pondering one's own happiness and desires.... which ultimately leads to making changes.
(one of the kids first trip to the beach, June 2006)
Happy Anniversary to me as next week will mark 3 years since moving to Anguilla with a few suitcases, the 4 kids, my former partner and two friends who were also "visiting for the Summer".
As a person who prides herself on being able to adjust to anything, it's been the most difficult and rewarding years of my life, filled with many losses and more raw emotions than I've ever experienced before.
I'll never forget that "everything is so different" feeling and how ill prepared we ultimately were for this "adventure".
I'll also never forget American Airlines loosing all of our suitcases for 10 days, which coincides with when I found out how difficult it is to find basic things such as clothes and bathing suits in Anguilla
The girls were just a few weeks past turning 3 and their first swim in the sea was monumental and feels likes a lifetime ago now.
My experience with "living fully" has been tough and rewarding with a steep and drama filled learning curve but the reward is being able to hear myself and being able to make choices based on that without constantly.
And, I never have to wonder if something I am involved with is right or wrong for me, 'cause when something is TRULY right, it's an un-mistakable feeling.
it.just.is
The internet has given us such opportunities and talking to a friend via chat last night, it can help you cope with loss or a difficult situation or it can make you feel less removed, as it does for me at times.
Internet access is the main reason I CAN somehow make a living here and out online interactions definitely can form real human bonds, sometimes with perfect strangers.
But that line between work/leisure gets blurry and too much of a good thing becomes..... well, not a good thing anymore.
(amazing sunset that lit the entire sky on fire, the first week we were in Anguilla, June 2006)
I've always enjoyed looking at any given situations from a several different perspectives, which has certainly come in handy while living here in Anguilla and being able to present a balanced positive and negative view of what life is like here.
The main reason I started blogging, Twittering etc, is to share that unique perspective and (hopefully) provide food for though, even if it's just looking at your faucet differently with your never-ending potable water.
Mix this "always on" mode, constant internet access and a desire to share a unique perspective and you have an overstimulated brain that is so noisy it's hard to hear anything significant. The danger there is that this over-stimulation becomes never ending.... almost like an addiction and ultimately, a normal state of mind. At that point you end up creating constant input by what you do, where you go and internet activities to the point where you no longer can actually process anything significant for lack of sitting still or "thinking still", you merely wash over it and drown it with "always on".
(Having been born and raised in Switzerland) I lived in the US for 15 years before coming to Anguilla in the Fall of 2005 for a work project. Something about those few days here (in a concrete hosting center without windows) felt different. There was potential for something I hadn't truly experienced as an adult yet after my whirlwind tour of being assimilated into the American culture, language and way of life, taking care of a handicapped child and eventually going to college to graduate 9 months pregnant.
That potential... was for being still, actually evaluating situations, processing emotions and pondering one's own happiness and desires.... which ultimately leads to making changes.
(one of the kids first trip to the beach, June 2006)
Happy Anniversary to me as next week will mark 3 years since moving to Anguilla with a few suitcases, the 4 kids, my former partner and two friends who were also "visiting for the Summer".
As a person who prides herself on being able to adjust to anything, it's been the most difficult and rewarding years of my life, filled with many losses and more raw emotions than I've ever experienced before.
I'll never forget that "everything is so different" feeling and how ill prepared we ultimately were for this "adventure".
I'll also never forget American Airlines loosing all of our suitcases for 10 days, which coincides with when I found out how difficult it is to find basic things such as clothes and bathing suits in Anguilla
The girls were just a few weeks past turning 3 and their first swim in the sea was monumental and feels likes a lifetime ago now.
My experience with "living fully" has been tough and rewarding with a steep and drama filled learning curve but the reward is being able to hear myself and being able to make choices based on that without constantly.
And, I never have to wonder if something I am involved with is right or wrong for me, 'cause when something is TRULY right, it's an un-mistakable feeling.
it.just.is
Happy Anniversary Francie!
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My brain is "always on" too! Help!
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Glen, I do have a cure for that, but it involves time, discipline, dedication and most likely a good amount of discomfort.
Allowing yourself to actually sit still and process stuff is hard, and most likely leads to painful short term changes in your life, in order to be happier in the long term.
Who knew that trying to be happy is so difficult!
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Happy 3rd anniversary - same for me too. Just can't believe 3 years have gone past so quickly. It all adds to life's little experiences - some good, some bad. Being somewhere different gives you a different perspective to things and life in general.
Keep doing what you're doing, and most of all, enjoy yourself.
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