Udder Chaos

5 Lifehacks to Make Life Easier

2012-03-26T17:55:11Z

If you've ever been faced with a tough situation, feeling bad or insufficient, not liking your job or being just plain overwhelmed by life, then take a minute to read the below jedi mind tricks anyone can use to make it all easier AND more fun along the way!

1. Everything can be made to be fun

I don't care if you're talking about writing a long paper, cleaning the bathroom, folding clothes or working out, ANYthing can be made to be fun if you just try hard enough. Think about what would make the weight of the task ahead of you less painful. Perhaps some ridiculous 80's music blasting? How about watching a funny movie at the same time? Or perhaps you just need to go put on some clothes or makeup that makes you feel good to work up to that chore you've been dreading all this time.

For me, one of the major challenges is working out, which I do daily but actually despise significantly. Or at least I did. And still do sometimes. But my mission is to have fun with working out until I end up having fun with it. Sometimes that means putting on the "Brazilian Butt Lift" DVD which is pretty much a parody of itself and dancing around the gym looking like a total idiot. Other times that means blasting music before the workout to work up some energy. And every once in a while that just means doing 30 minutes of stretching instead of sweating up a storm but the end result is doing something I didn't really want to do, in a way that was fun. Try it!

Bonus points on this one for being silly, which usually leads to having fun!

Double bonus points for realizing how contagious "fun" is. Not only will it make your day easier but other people (and kids) will want to be around you!

2. Pay attention

If you think about the amount of information we deal with on a daily basis, and then compare that to what was considered "normal" just 30 years ago, it's easy to get overwhelmed. Newspapers, smart phones, TV, subway schedules, Facebook and email all bombard us with information at an insane rate. That's a lot of stuff to deal with but somehow, while learning to cope with vast amounts of information instead of drowning in it, we have lost our ability to read between the lines, to catch the small details that tell you how someone really feels, things that aren't said at all. This focus on processing fast, mass-produced information has robbed us sometimes of the ability to attention to detail. Pay attention to someone's name pronunciation. Watch your kids body language as they describe a situation that happened at school. Look at those unusual colours of the sky. Ask questions, be curious, share! Truly listen to not only what someone is saying, but how they are saying it and you'll be surprised at how valuable the "in between" stuff actually is.

Bonus points for recognizing that all the information you consume is YOUR choice and that the "unsubscribe" or "power off" buttons are there for you to use anytime you wish.

Double bonus points for recognizing that people notice mostly what they're looking for, which is why only love songs play on the radio after you've broken up with someone.

So if you look for the beauty that is all around you instead of the ugly and broken, you naturally will see more beauty but you have to pay attention.

3. Convince yourself - "Fake it til you make it"

What I'm talking about here is part number 1. "Everything can be made to be fun" and part ancient art of the jedi mind trick, where you can actually talk yourself into anything, given enough time and persistence.

This works both positive and negative and I'm drop dead serious, you WILL start believing anything you say to yourself given enough time.

This may mean stopping to look in the mirror and saying to yourself "you look awful/fat/ugly", and stopping to actively looking for the negative and instead, find something positive to focus on. "I like the curve my hips make in this dress" or "this shirt makes my shoulders look muscular" or whatever you can come up with.

There were times in my life where I felt bad about myself and while putting yourself down is easy, it accomplishes nothing. So 1. do something about what bothers you and 2. start looking for things that you do like. This at times meant standing in front of the mirror for some time until I could see one thing I liked (past the 50 things I didn't like).

This principal works not only with body issues but also with work challenges, life events, moving to a remote Caribbean island which may or may not turn out to be far more difficult than anticipated. Analyze whatever situation you're dealing with, do something to change what bothers you, but then actively look for the POSITIVE things you like about the situation. Think about what you're learning because of the situation you're in and before you know it, you'll actually and truly want to be in whatever situation you're in.

I promise you will start seeing physical and mental changes in your life if you manage to shift your focus like this!

Bonus points for keeping a gratitude journal, especially on days when you're feeling particularly bad/down/trapped/out of control.

4. Break it up

If something seems too daunting of a task, simply break it up and ignore the enormity of the entire thing. I had to do this when I was going through that absolutely miserable pregnancy with my ginormous twins. When you're diabetic, pregnant and on strict bedrest with two young kids to take care of while you can barely breathe, thinking about "I can do this for another few months" is entirely impossible.

So negotiate with yourself, what CAN you imagine making it until? Then make that your goal. For me, I couldn't imagine not being able to breathe/walk/eat for even as much as a week so most of the time my goal was to make it til the next day. I knew I could do 24 hours, but probably not more, so I committed to that, while ignoring the larger, overwhelming situation. And of course, after 24 hours, I'd renegotiate and commit to another 24 hours.

This works with a huge pile of dishes too or a huge daunting paper, the dream vacation you always wanted or a 30 point to do list, btw. How many CAN you do right now without being overwhelmed? 6 glasses? Done, make that your goal and then walk away and come back later to do 6 more of something else.

Bonus points: Combine item 1. "Everything can be made to be fun" and/or item number 3. "Fake it til you make it" for extra bonus points to do whatever makes it less of a pain to get the job done!

5. Give yourself a break!

Sometimes, one way to figure out what you want is to do the opposite of what you think you want and then seeing how that feels. Different perspective always makes it obvious what you can't live without and what you don't actually miss at all. I personally like to travel to clear my mind, interact with strangers, walk through foreign places but whatever you chose to do to get a break doesn't have to be that complicated or expensive. Go for a walk by yourself in a part of town/island/country you've never been to before. Ride your bike down a path you don't know yet. Cook something you've never made before. Go to the airport just to watch people. Write a letter, call someone to say thank you for something benign, anything that's out of your routine and you will find that your brain welcomes the change and the perspective and very often, crystallizing thoughts or desires is much easier when you're in an "open" state like this. I can't promise you'll always get the answers you're looking for, sometimes you may figure out that you in fact do not miss that person, but I can promise you that your brain and your heart will welcome the change and the chance to just be.

Bonus points for doing this along with item number 2. "Pay Attention"

Dealing with Hurricanes - Take-Home Bonus

2010-09-14T12:55:00Z

So I bet by now you're now thinking "I wonder how to re-create what a hurricane is like". Lucky for you, I've had a lot of time to think about how to do this and here's what you need for a perfectly safe re-creation:

kids playhouse or small tool shed
several heavy-duty sprinklers
pots and pans and baking sheets
a few leaf blowers
a few shop-vac's
playback equipment with pre-recorded hurricane noise, such as this one or this here.

Setup all the sprinklers in close perimeter to the playhouse and turn on high. if water seeps in to cracks and doors, you got it setup properly.
Position and secure the leaf blowers and vacuums right against the walls of the house, set them up to alternate between the on (high) and off positions every few seconds. If you're inside and feel alternating pressure and suction and can hear clanking and rattling then you're good to go.
Put the pots and baking sheets on the roof of the playhouse, they should make noise when the sprinkler water hits.
Turn the recorded sounds on high, preferably several at the same time. The sound of a hurricane is actually a deep rumble, clanking and high whistles/screams in addition to those wind noises but my attempts to record the actual sounds didn't work out too well.
Bonus: For extra special scary effects, turn on high and do all this at night.

Have fun and stay safe out there, y'all!

Dealing with Hurricanes - Part 2

2010-09-13T11:03:00Z

(This is the second part of my "Dealing with Hurricanes" post. If you haven't read that, please start here start here)

During:

If you can, don't go through a hurricane alone. You'll be sitting there for hours waiting for your roof to be blown off and it's too easy to let yourself be scared when alone, especially with young kids in the house. Besides, playing board or card games in candle light is much more fun with other people.
The wind and rain is going to come from all four directions, one at the time. Pick the best room to be in during each stage in case of broken windows etc. Check each room of the house for water frequently though, it's a pretty nasty surprise to walk in your bedroom and find it covered in an inch of water.
Bonus: Use the water you mop up from this (in our case 16 gallons) to flush toilets!
In case you didn't board up the entire house and the hurricane turns into a bigger deal than expected, feel free to use whatever creative means necessary to keep the window from blowing out or minimizing the damage in case it does. This is also the part where large amounts of coconuts comes in handy in case you need to weigh something down.
Expect the noise and pressure levels to be close to "insane" and prepare to not sleep for a while. This is also a good time to use up the last of your cold tonic and lime, if you're into that sort of thing.
Tweet furiously every hour. Or don't. But do something, write, read, play a game, do something to keep occupied and "business as usual", especially when you have kids with you as they will gauge their reaction and fears based on what you put out.
Despite what anyone says, don't go outside. The wind direction and gusts are unpredictable, especially close to the eye of the hurricane. Besides it seems pretty silly to go through all that trouble to be safe, only to get hurt 'cause of your own stupidity.Or a flying coconut.

After:

Take a deep breath of relief! Nobody got hurt and despite what it sounded like, your roof didn't blow off. Not being able to flush your toilet, bucket baths and it being somewhat difficult to wash your hands alone and your kids occupied is about the worst that happens at this point.
Carefully check out the damage and slowly start cleanup operations. Check to see if your car and cooking gas is working since going places and being able to boil water and cook things is a big deal. Don't rush, most injuries are sustained during hurricane cleanup (see image on the right) besides, the mess will be there tomorrow as well.
Have a blast cooking what's left of your fridge and eventually your freezer. We ate like kings the entire time since stuff that was not in bags was gradually thawing. Check your oven though 'cause if it's electric (glow) ignition you won't be able to light it by hand.
Expect to get emotional at the first sign of "normal life" such as someone handing you a cold drink, having internet or turning on regular lights.

All in all we only lost two tables, a side door and the plantain palm out front and a surprising amount of paint on the house was wind/sand- blasted off the house. The shrubs in the back are mostly gone and the whole place was a huge mess and some boats washed up on the beaches. Again nobody got hurt and the girls weren't afraid, which makes me super thankful. This is also our first hurricane in this house with an aluminum roof, which coincidentally sounded like it was going to blow away any second now, for 22 hours straight, and it makes me feel better to know what this house can take.

I also must say that I've never been so proud of Anguillians as after each a hurricane, as everyone just grabs a shovel, machete or whatever and helps one another out. I suppose that's the only way isolated communities survive but it's inspiring to see every time.

Also, if you can swing it (or your conference speaking schedule requires it) with power and water still off, immediately fly to Italy for a few nice showers and meals is a great way to recover from a hurricane.

Lastly, a huge thank you to my online community for their checking in, well wishes and comments. It may not seem like much but it's nice to know others care. I don't want to imagine what it must be like to go through a worse version of this or any natural disaster where people actually get hurt and having a life-line out is such a big deal.

Here's to none of us ever really needing it!

Make every day count!

Dealing with Hurricanes - Part 1

2010-09-12T12:04:00Z

As you might have gathered by now, 400 km huge Hurricane Earl hit us head on and did quite a number on the island. Fortunately, houses here are built with concrete and steel so structural damage was minimized and no injuries were reported, making us once again very lucky. We did loose lots of trees and power poles and hence power and water for 4 and a half days, which wasn't comfortable. A friend down the street organized a power generator for us a few days after impact, which was amazing as it allowed us to have either water OR internet and refrigeration. Your guess as to which was chosen most of the time

Although I've spent over 30 hours in category 3 hurricanes, it's difficult to describe what it feels like. Not just the part during the hurricane, but the aftermath, driving through a country that looks like a giant Edward Scissorhands took some rage out on to. Normal things like ice become a rarity sold only to the closest of relatives on island and the grocery stores become gutted. If you find a gas station that's open, you'll be standing in line for quite a while. Our supply boats arrive once a week and with rough seas, that means there are no supplies reaching for some time.

Probably because I am so connected with the outside World via internet so I rarely feel like we live on a remote island. Having a boat and plane service stop to Anguilla and being literally cut off from the rest of the World will set all that into perspective. Worrying about when the ferry boats are going to run back and forth to St Martin again, or when the next supply boat arrives will be a stark reminder of where exactly you live.

Since I had quite some time on my hands to think about all this, here some tips on how to prepare and deal with a hurricane and what exactly to expect. Realizing that most of you don't live on a remote island or in hurricane country, there is a good chance this list may not help anyone but me prepare for next time, which may be later this week as Hurricane Igor is headed our way, although forecasts predict it to go well North of us.

Before:

Before you loose power, eat all the ice cream you have. And seriously, minimize what you have in your fridge and freezer as you may loose it during extended power outages.
Buy a case of small water bottles, drain about 1/3 of each bottle, squeeze slightly to remove air and allow the water to expand as it becomes ice. Shut tightly and put it in the freezer. These will help keep your frozen goods frozen for a few days and also, you will be super thrilled to get to drink some cold water after going a few days without refrigeration.
Ice works for this part in theory but the mess is not worth it.
Get a couple of large freezer bags, like the one's you use to carry frozen goods home from the store. Before you loose power, fill them with all your frozen "valuables" and leave enough room to surround the whole thing with the above frozen water bottles. Put back in the freezer for 12 hours, then seal tightly. If you never open your freezer nor the bag, items in this bag will keep frozen for 3-4 days.
Depending on where you live, make sure you have enough (non-refrigerated) food and drinking water to last you 4 times as long as you think you need. In other words, you think you'll be out of power/water for 2 days, make sure you got 8 days of stuff on hand. That formula might seem overkill but the last thing you'll want is to worry about if you have enough food before the next supply boat arrives.
Move everything outside that can move as a projectile, I'm talking furniture and in our case coconuts. Also, having a bunch of coconuts in the house may come in use later if you need to weigh anything down. They're also a tasty snack and are fun to open with a machete.
Organize buckets and lots of dry towels, horizontal rain being flung at your house at high speed means there will be water coming in anywhere through doors and windows and any tiny cracks anywhere.
Check your first aid kit, make sure you have pain medication for everyone in all age groups in the house. Also, get a couple of cans of fix-a-flat cause it would suck to have to go somewhere after the hurricane and have a flat.
Get enough candles of lamp oil to last 4(expected power outage) so you'll have light. Also get enough batteries for flashlights and a radio.
Charge all electronics including your tools and then unplug everything in case of power surges. Make sure you have your tools inside with you in case a door blows off or something needs to be fixed in a hurry.
Board up all windows, especially if you don't have slat windows since large panes of glass are more susceptible to breaking under pressure. It's probably a safe bet to do this even if you don't expect a big hurricane. Otherwise you might find yourself covering windows with a mattress and weighing it down with coconuts. (queue ominous sequel music)
Gas up your car and any other gas containers you have, then store them in a safe place.

Part 2 to come shortly, which includes the "during" and "after" parts as well as how to re-create your very own hurricane environment!

Updated: Earl

2010-08-29T17:46:00Z

The good news is that Hurricane Earl has a low chance of even reaching severity two status, which means reach 96 - 110mph winds.The bad news, is that Earl's center is going smack dab over Anguilla at some point late tonight/tomorrow morning.

We know for sure we'll loose electricity as ANGLEC turns it off in these situations to minimize damage from falling electric poles etc. No electricity for a while means no water for a while. Buckets are organized and ready to pull water out of the cistern, drinking water, bleach, dry goods and first aid kits are assembled. All electrical devices are fully charged, typically cell phone service is the last thing to go out during hurricanes.

The house is boarded up, which I actually consider to be the (hopefully) worst part of it - anticipating the hurricane in the dark, which is not conducive to remaining calm and relaxed and it bothers the kids out as well. It being 85 degrees, no AC and now having all doors and windows boarded up also isn't helping the situation and if I had to guess, I'd say that there isn't a lot of sleep in my future. At least the girls are great sleepers, hopefully they'll miss all the action.

To follow the happenings of Earl, check out this link www.nhc.noaa.gov.

I'm going to fight the mob at the grocery store now, wish me luck!

Update 8pm:

I survived the store, although there wasn't a single loaf of bread left and going shopping to the sound of windows being hammered shut isn't very comforting. But I got some flour and (tonic and limes and Excedrine) and baked bread so it's all good.

Unfortunately, Earl slowed down a bit and is gaining strength with pressure still dropping, so forecasts are now saying the eye won't pass until noon tomorrow, and by then it may be a category 3 hurricane with 111 - 130mph winds.

Good thing we got all the coconuts off the tree today, a 4 pound coconut sounds like a mighty dangerous projectile in 130 mph/210 kmh. Now back to waiting.... and watching... and waiting.... ugh....

How to be Alone

2010-08-20T14:17:00Z

""lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weighless"

Going Home

2010-08-17T04:48:00Z

Tomorrow - or rather - in a few hours, our 9 long weeks of traveling over 28'000km to 9 countries is coming to an end as we finally go home.
Except "going home" seems so foreign, especially as I do it with 2 of the 4 kids I left Anguilla with back in June.
The island breeze, the smell of the ocean, the sounds I hear when I lay in bed with the window open have faded so much. We have seen and done and experienced so much it makes it hard to know what to expect "home".
I do remember how quiet it is though, how removed our "last house before Africa" is from any sort of commotion or distraction.
Somehow, I don't think we will go home to the same "last house before Africa" without the boys laughter, fights, endless scheming, goofy jokes and hilarious dancing.

Perhaps that's why we stayed gone this long, to delay the moment when we had to go home and figure out how to live without them.
Perhaps we went to so many places, hoping one would jump up and grab us so we didn't have to figure out how to make Anguilla "home" without the boys again.

It's just so easy to find distractions when you're hurting. So tempting to pretend and cover it all up with noise and stuff and activities and more noise until what needs to be dealt with is so far burried you can't even hear it anymore.

Thank God for getting older.
Like an air bubble, that the stuff you try to cover up always - always - finds it's way back to the top, except usually multiplied in it's tenacity and impact.

Going home tomorrow...

Bliss

2010-07-06T11:43:41Z

Bliss
Originally uploaded by akafrancie

Too much going on to write properly, or even gather my thoughts in a cohesive way. Being here is interesting, some things annoying, parts of it very pleasant, some things magical. I am definitively a foreigner here, although I am getting to know other aspects of Switzerland I never knew that are providing a different perspective.

We've recently gotten a chance to travel a bit, I got to properly "meet" Vienna and yesterday we took a road trip to Germany, meeting friends and lots of laughter. Hand feeding monkeys, crossing the Bodensee by car-ferry and just playing on various playgrounds and giggling are recent highlights. We've seen lots of different animals and surroundings and I have enjoyed several concerts which are always very comfortable surroundings for me.

My favorite thing is to "see" everything through my kids eyes, for whom everything is new and different and exciting. It really is a different World for them and I am in awe of how easy they are entertained, a stick, a fountain, anything provided hours of entertainment. Watching them work together to build a damn or make a fort together is both the best and worst feeling, worst because I know what's coming as soon as we get back.
I can't imagine how they'll function apart, but somehow, I am sure they will.

Until then, we will embark on more foreign adventures and laughter, like in the picture above, which you can't help but smile at! Making every day count. In some way. What else could you possibly ask for....

Raindrops, Snails and Flip-Flops

2010-06-19T20:45:32Z

Raindrops and Inspecting Snails
Originally uploaded by akafrancie

37 hours after leaving our house and we're in Switzerland in the house I grew up in. Feels very strange. Not home, it hasn't been that in 20 years. Just Swiss. Not even sure what that means but I intend to figure it out somehow in the next few weeks.

Til then, some funny things the kids ask and general observations about the Swiss and their (odd) ways, from a Caribbean, or at least foreign perspective.

The noises here are so different, streams of water and rain instead of waves. Birds, foxes, deer and snails instead of goats and chickens and fish. And the colours.... various shades of green, no turqouise.
Odd how cold is like pain, you can't really imagine it until you feel it. The temperatures are super cold here, 45 degrees, which for us might as well be freezing. No matter how hard I try to explain to the kids that it's cold outside, every day, they don't get it til they open a window. So every day they ask "can I put on my bathing suit and go play in the rain?"

Personal space here is "right on top of you".
"Personal space" for cars is also "right on top of you", no clue how I am going to drive here. Also, they drive on the right.
Everyone here in Switzerland moves slow, or at least slower somehow. Except when my Dad is driving.
The Swiss clean their dishes, then put them in the dishwasher and wait two hours to get them back even cleaner. Very odd.
There is a distinct code of conduct here, the way you dress, speak, what you do and when you do it. Not sure I can quantify this one yet, but have noticed myself doing it a little already. Weird.
Also, Switzerland is incredibly beautiful. Gorgeous. Meticulous. Pretty much all of it looks like a post card. Not a single piece of trash anywhere.

"Mom, why do people lock their doors here?"
"What's that noise?" (airplane)
"Why do we have to go to bed when it's light outside"
"Why can't I wear flip-flops to go shopping?"
"You can DRINK the water here???"
"Why are people so white here?"
"Is that a llama or alpaca over there by the wigwam?"
"Why do I have to wear clothes to go outside?"
"When can we go swim at the beach"

Beginnings and an Endings

2010-06-16T13:54:00Z

This week marks the 4 year anniversary of us coming here from Texas, 2 suitcases in hand and a bucket full of naivete.

4 years ago is also when we went searching for adequate education for the 4 kids, which we somewhat found in the then frail Omololu International school which was then operating out of temporary housing, one large room with grades K - 6th.

While the school had a long history of success, it had hit some hard times and was reduced to the then "barely functional" status with about 34 student.

Since then, a group of parents, the school's founder and other community members have put our blood, sweat, tears, money and time into growing this institution with a special spirit, into a blossoming International school with 95 students in our new permanent site you see below. Many of you actually helped build it also in the form of a donation to the "Anguilla Luxury Raffle" that took place last year and for that I will forever be grateful. I wish you all could come visit, walk into that gate and feel the welcome, sense the spirit, enthusiasm and community that lives there. You would be so proud!

It's taken us almost a year to accomplish but we recently received a $450K building grant from the Windsong Foundation, which has helped us construct and move into the school site you see below.

We've hired wonderful staff, created a board, got land from the Government of Anguilla and turned Omololu into an amazing place for local, regional and foreign children on the island, including special needs kids who previously had no place to get the attention they need. Omololu does have a long history of up's and downs and I have no doubt that we're not done struggling but if anyone had told me or anyone else that this is what we would be able to accomplish and leave behind for the next generation, I would have called you insane.

The "next generation" bit is particularly heart breaking to me today, as my sons are right now spending their last few hours at Omololu. This afternoon we are leaving for Switzerland for 5 weeks on our first big family trip, our first visit to Switzerland in 6 years and our last few weeks together as a family in this configuration.

My oldest is done with 6th grade and here in Anguilla where we have the UK school system, that means he now has to go to high school, for which there is currently no feasible alternative on island. So the boys are moving back to the US with their Dad as soon as we get back from Switzerland.

I'm not entirely sure what our household is going to look and feel like. I cannot imagine life without those two. But it's the right thing to do for the boys, for their Dad, for their education and hence for us.

And if Anguilla has taught us one thing, it's adaptation, creative problem solving and resilience.

Every end is also the beginning of something new.

I don't know how the girls and I will cope without all the wild things - but we will.