Udder Chaos

The Power of ____ (Failure/Empathy/One)

Francie — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 02:09:00 GMT

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

Comfort Zone

Francie — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 14:52:00 GMT

As I was traveling to a conference last month, the usual travel issues followed.... delayed flights, no luggage, lost taxi drivers, found and broken luggage the next day.
I was standing in line at the Miami airport hotel, tired, frustrated, cranky and without luggage I had just walked half a mile for. My next flight was leaving at 7am and it was midnight and the check in line had not moved an inch in 15 minutes.
That's when a random stranger came up to me and asked if I could witness some legal papers which were needed to allow him to go to Haiti. This was day 3 after the devastating earthquake in Haiti and I had already noticed the "FLIGHT TO PORT-AU-PRINCE CANCELLED" all over the boards at the airport and the number of rescue teams that gathered all over MIA.

So the three of us standing in line signed this strangers papers and he thanked us profusely, offering to answer any medical questions we would have in our lifetime, which made me laugh and share the fact that I have four very adventurous kids, which made his offer significantly bigger than he might have anticipated.
I watched him as he went to get his papers faxed. He looked so scared. I wanted to give him a hug so badly, but alas, he was a perfect stranger and we were in the lobby of a hotel and it was midnight.

But you know, sometimes it's ok to step outside your limits and I just couldn't walk away without somehow re-assuring this man, without letting him know how much the entire human race appreciated what he was about to do.
So we started talking and Paul told me that he and his team of four doctors and four nurses had made the decision to go to Haiti just hours ago and he was going early to survey the situation. I told him where I live and we talked about both of our families and his passion for diving and the look on his face changed, even if just for a few minutes.
By the time his papers were faxed and I had a hotel room key it was 1am and I was brave enough to ask for Paul's email address as I wanted to make sure they all came back alive and well. I also gave him that "random stranger" hug hoping it would take off at least a fraction of the weight he was carrying that night.

Turns out my silly travel issues and lost luggage didn't matter anymore and I was embarrassed I ever cared about such insignificance.
Turns out Paul is Dr Paul Auerbach, Professor of Surgery, Division of Emergency Medicine, Stanford University, School of Medicine who ended up staying in Haiti for 13 grueling days, becoming the chief medical coordinator of all NGO (non-governmental agencies).
You can and should read his blog from Haiti here, more amazing re-counts of the Stanford ER medical team here and more interviews with Dr Auerbach here, including the heartbreaking account of his collapse on his last day in Haiti.

I got an email last night from Paul thanking me for helping him when he needed it, which is almost embarassing after you read the above.
And I do think we all need to read all of the above and somehow share this burden with both the victims and the countless people who went there to help. I don't really believe in random events and would like to think that in everything hides something we can learn if you just bother looking. Reading about how much of a difference a smile, holding someone's hand or getting offered a cracker from a triple amputee child can make is now making me feel completely silly about worrying if giving some guy a hug in a hotel lobby was appropriate.

At the end of the day, we're all vulnerable, we all deserve compassion, it's what makes us human.

I continue to be amazed to learn of the extent of our limits as human beings, how adaptive we really are when given a chance/not given a chance and how much we can accomplish if we just try to go above and beyond our fears and step outside our comfort zone.

Thank you Paul, for all that you have done and continue to do. I am incredibly glad and honoured that we met!

Outside In - Inside Out

Francie — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:43:00 GMT

Have you ever gone to buy a house? Hunt for an apartment you were planning to live in for a really long time?
It's a big deal. You spend hours and hours trying to figure out what you want.
You make a list of everything that is important to you. Three bedrooms, one story, a big kitchen, a garage for two cars, fenced in yard, comfortable neighbourhood, close to a specific school... whatever is important to you.

And then you go look with an agent that shows you what seems like a million and one places.
Some are too close to the neighbours house. Others have bad floors throughout. And some don't give you the warm fuzzies even though they have all the attributes you want.
But then......
You just walked in the front door....
You haven't even seen all of it yet....
You found it.
Finally.
It is THE ONE!

Except, it's a two story house with a weird lay-out. And the tile in all the bathrooms is horrible. And the back yard comes up against a stream that has been known to overflow from time to time and it's not in the right school district.
Complicated.
But.... you can feel it.
Like it was made for you.
It is. The one.

You know that feeling, it's unmistakable. It's when your inner voice calls something "home". It's hearing the perfect song just when you needed to hear it. It's knowing you want to spend the rest of your life with someone even before you met them. It's knowing "your" car before you even know the price. It's pulling up to beach at just the right moment to see the green flash in that perfect sunset. It was made for you.
Made for you.

Most thing we evaluate in life - our hobbies, which company to work for, the right shoes for that dress - is usually done from the outside in. Strategic for the most part. Involving a concrete set of likes and dislikes, for most of which, compromise is NOT an option. Approaching from the outside, towards the center of a spiral. From the outside in.

But if you can hear even a little bit of yourself or you're at least open to listen..... every now and then, something comes along that starts from the inside out.
Smack dab right in the middle of the center and details you thought were important just fade into the background.
It is.just.right.

And perhaps, this unintentional and unintended backwards approach scares the shit out of you.
Maybe it involves having to change something you weren't anticipating.
Or perhaps you're terrified of that right thing BECAUSE you can't quantity it, because it makes no sense.
And how could anything that can't be explained possibly work out for the best?
And what if you try and then fail? Or turn out to be wrong at some point in the future and that right thing no longer meets your needs?

Yup. You're right. That could happen.

And there is but one way to find out.

Tile can be changed, can't it?

Half Asleep

Francie — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 04:20:00 GMT

I don't ever recall feeling ignorant in life, but I will never forget the way I felt when I first came to Anguilla.
I was working 12 hours a day, barely saw sunlight, but as I sat on the beach here, looking into the most beautiful infinity pool I'd ever seen.... I heard a whisper from a very unfamiliar voice.

I was 32 and barely knew who I was.
Somehow, I had been living my life half asleep.
Between the decisions I had made, a transatlantic move at a young age, moves around many cities, an education, marriage, kids, divorce, more kids and a career... I had managed to completely neglect myself and hence was not able to hear, think about, nor make choices based on what spoke to me deep inside.

But how could this happen? How could a relatively intelligent person, miss something so fundamental?
For me, part of it had to do with living in the country of unlimited opportunities, that pace of life, work, that amount of "stuff" and activities readily available 24/7 to help you distract, and actually cover up that voice.
But then, when I first heard that little voice, I didn't like what it had to say.
It said something was wrong and I wasn't fundamentally happy.
And who wants to hear THAT!
Much easier to cover it up with superficial things, friends and conversations.

Plus, more importantly, if you actually KNOW that there is something not in line with your core, then you actually have to DO something to change it and THAT would be scary.
People will get hurt, lives will be upset.
Easier to just stick your head back into the sand and go back to sleep.

But, if you're lucky, once you actually feel something that is just.plain.right, regardless of what that is, it makes it almost impossible to remain content with the status quo.

I'm not sure why I seem to be having this having this conversation with others on repeat right now. Perhaps it has to do with our age range, our kids getting older and needing us less and hence being faced with more alone time. Or perhaps, you don't really realize you've been living half asleep, until you meet someone or something that wakes you up.

Nothing that is not fundamentally grounded and balanced is sustainable.
Nothing.

RIP My New Awesome Camera

Francie — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:42:07 GMT

Flying Pickle
Originally uploaded by akafrancie

Well, it was fun while it lasted, which was about two weeks.
Somehow, I managed to get a few grains of sand in the seal of my new Panasonic Lumix water and sand proof camera and after that Sunday at Sandy Ground, there was a tiny bit of water in the camera by the battery.

I let it sit in a warm place, put it in a bag of rice for a week, but nada.
it just tries to turn on, makes a scratching sounds and that's it.

Am seriously heart broken as it's been a while since I had a camera I loved that much and even on days when I wasn't in a good mood, getting behind the camera always makes me look at everything from a different perspective.

Oh well, back to my old Canon.... or is it an Olympus.... meh, whatever.

Ready, Set - ACTION!

Francie — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:18:01 GMT

Non-Stop Action
Originally uploaded by akafrancie

In case you haven't heard, I got a new camera and I LOOOOOVE it!
My new Panasonic Lumix affords me much needed flexibility around here, since it's water, sand and shock-proof.
Not only does that grant me a new perspective, but it also helps me relax more as the camera most likely won't break if the kids get a hold of it and break it.

I've been testing the camera in various conditions, low light, bright light, underwater etc and I am pleasantly surprised with the high quality of the pics. The BEST part though are the high definition videos it takes which look GORGEOUS and stay reasonably pretty even when uploaded to YouTube.
Check out my first attempt here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiTT9cIiePM

The last camera I was in love with, was my Kodak V610 Dual Lense camera. Actually, that was also my first camera I was ever in love with as I frankly didn't know you could be in love with something that has an on or off switch before.
The Olympus Stylus I had after that just wasn't the same. It was ok. Did it's job, but nothing remotely what I would describe as "love", much less "great enthusiasm".

Thank you Volker for telling me about the Lumix.
I love it and the wonderful moments is allows me to capture!

(for more pics click on the pic or go to http://www.flickr.com/franciewhitlock)

BOO!

Francie — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:35:00 GMT

Sorry if the pink and black panthers snook up on you and scared you.
Here a few pics of our efforts to bring Halloween to Anguilla.

The kids had a blast trick-or-treating in the dark (it's dark here by 6pm) with the full moon above and the ocean glistening in that gorgeous silver colour.

Sadly enough we didn't see any Ghoats though. Nor goats.
Boooo!

I can see it now.... "Ghoat Island"

Francie — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:05:00 GMT

After this post on Twitter:

@duffbert Goat parties. Hm... wonder if I could make pillow cover ghost costumes for the bands of roving goats for Halloween #FreakedOutKids

[4:25:31 PM] Julian Robichaux: so Francie, I think your Halloween goat ghost costume idea is fantastic

[4:25:42 PM] Julian Robichaux: we want pictures of the ghoats

[4:25:48 PM] Francie Tanner: ghoats, I love it

[4:26:06 PM] Francie Tanner: can you imagine having dozends of ghoats running around your house on Halloween

[4:26:24 PM] Julian Robichaux: that would be hilarious, although would seriously freak out the kids

[4:26:43 PM] Francie Tanner: completely

[4:26:52 PM] Julian Robichaux: especially if you could teach them to say "boo" instead of "baa"

[4:27:04 PM] Julian Robichaux: not sure that ghoats are that smart though

[4:27:19 PM] Francie Tanner: i can tell you that for sure - they are not smart

[4:27:33 PM] Francie Tanner: although, I have seen several goats in town look both ways before crossing the road

[4:27:41 PM] Francie Tanner: not just once here and there, like all the time

[4:27:45 PM] Julian Robichaux: wow

[4:27:52 PM] Julian Robichaux: evolution?

[4:28:14 PM] Francie Tanner: must be, 'cause as soon as you get out of our "downtown" you see dead goats again

[4:28:37 PM] Julian Robichaux: those are the ones that have not been naturally selected

[4:28:45 PM] Julian Robichaux: or, naturally unselected

[4:30:09 PM] Francie Tanner: so basically, if I start now, there is a small chance my kids kids could get fraked out for life by island ghoats saying "boo"

[4:30:39 PM] Julian Robichaux: possibly

[4:30:45 PM] Julian Robichaux: how long is a generation in goat years?

[4:30:57 PM] Francie Tanner: smart one's or stupid one's

[4:31:07 PM] Julian Robichaux: the ones that survive

[4:31:11 PM] Julian Robichaux: so, smart ones

[4:32:11 PM] Francie Tanner: hold pls, checking

[4:32:50 PM] Francie Tanner: "between 15 and 18 years"

[4:33:01 PM] Francie Tanner: damn, but would imagine here in the wild it's less

[4:33:43 PM] Julian Robichaux: probably

[4:33:55 PM] Julian Robichaux: I'm thinking it'll take at least 7 generations

[4:34:10 PM] Julian Robichaux: but, they probably start reproducing after about 2 or 3 years...

[4:34:24 PM] Julian Robichaux: let's say 3, to give you time to train them...

[4:34:30 PM] Julian Robichaux: yes, I think it just might work!

[4:35:23 PM] Francie Tanner: hm "goats are extremely curious and intelligent"

[4:35:55 PM] Francie Tanner: I think we're onto something here

[4:36:35 PM] Julian Robichaux: there's probably a government grant for this sort of activity too

[4:36:58 PM] Francie Tanner: it could boost tourism, for sure

[4:38:23 PM] Julian Robichaux: sadly, ghoat.com is already taken

[4:38:57 PM] Julian Robichaux: for what evil purpose, I don't know

[4:39:48 PM] Francie Tanner: I can sue, it's ok

[4:41:07 PM] Julian Robichaux: good point. The lawyers will probably be knocking at your door wanting to represent you in that landmark case.

[4:42:51 PM] Francie Tanner: a landmark case that changed the footprint of a nation

[4:42:55 PM] Francie Tanner: hey, I like that'

[4:43:13 PM] Francie Tanner: "changing the footprint of Anguilla" and there would be goat prints next to that

[4:43:22 PM] Julian Robichaux: HA

[4:43:30 PM] Julian Robichaux: yes, think of the merchandising!

[4:43:44 PM] Francie Tanner: "Experience Ghoast Island"

[4:44:13 PM] Julian Robichaux: I wonder if you could license the Scooby Doo characters?

[4:44:22 PM] Francie Tanner: "Tranquility, surrounded by Ghoats"

(our slogan is "tranquility wrapped in blue")

[4:44:34 PM] Julian Robichaux: have them running in terror, away from square-eyed ghoasts

[4:44:58 PM] Julian Robichaux: hmm, we'll need to decide on ghoat vs. ghoast

[4:45:30 PM] Francie Tanner: ghoat

[4:45:32 PM] Julian Robichaux: that could make all the difference

[4:48:02 PM] Francie Tanner: Just found a Chinese merchandiser that makes those plush animals that make noises when you push on their belly. Am about to order 500'000 Ghoats, you good with that?

[4:48:25 PM] Julian Robichaux: that's enough for an initial order, sure

[4:48:43 PM] Julian Robichaux: as long as they can keep enough in stock for refills

[4:49:06 PM] Francie Tanner: next stop, Target exclusive beding and towel sets

[4:50:08 PM] Julian Robichaux: I'm going to start looking into voice talent for the inevitable kids show

[4:50:39 PM] Julian Robichaux: I'm thinking either computer animation or claymation

[4:52:27 PM] Francie Tanner: while at it, can you make a grown up version graphical novel

[4:52:55 PM] Francie Tanner: where unsuspecting tourists get eaten by Ghoats who got infected with this mysterious disease?

[4:55:49 PM] Julian Robichaux: well, I'll have to check to make sure it hasn't been done before of course

[4:56:04 PM] Julian Robichaux: it sounds like such an obvious plot

[4:59:24 PM] Francie Tanner: I am amazed at our brilliance

[5:00:34 PM] Julian Robichaux: this is like one of those amazing moments of clarity that people will talk about for years to come

[5:00:52 PM] Julian Robichaux: "How is it that it took so long for someone to think of this?"

[5:01:04 PM] Susan Bulloch: i was there when it started

Update: Julian was kind enough to provide a picture, for those of you that can't imagine Ghoats

How Rum Stopped the Water - the Month in Review

Francie — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:22:00 GMT

While this blog was on hyatus, we moved....

...to a cute yellow house on top of a hill with a rainbow above it... (note the open hood of my yet-again broken down car on the left)

....with plantain palms that I can reach, and coconut palms that I cannot.

Thew view from the house is truly awe inspiring, even at night, where you can see tousands of stars as there is no ambient light to our East whatsoever.

Check our our 260 degree ocean view!

Also, my oldest turned 12, which is sort of odd.

We had an great housewarming party...

...and all the kids are back in school now.

Since we live on a dead end road, the kids can roam around as they please and since they all got new bikes, there are times when I don't know where any of them are, which is quite stunning, if you ask me.

Hurricanes Ana and Bill and TS Erika did not hit us and merely brought rain, lots of wind and empty grocery store shelves...

...but at least we still had very expensive, very happy Cherries.

The kids absolutely love the new house and continue to be creative, inventing toys and games, such as this awesome see-saw...

...and they also found a way to harvest coconuts

Our new house is still dependant upon rain water collecting in our cistern, which we then boil, as there is no central water system in Anguilla. Since the recent set of hurricanes brought rain, we have about 5000 gallons in the cistern right now, which all were trying to escape into the ground after our water pump blew up last night....

...until I figured out the prefect thing to the gravity feed into the pump stop...

...our very own Pyrate rum (cork) to the rescue!

If I get a Vote, I vote for "North"

Francie — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:56:00 GMT

Meanwhile, we're all moved, not even close to unpacked, and FINALLY online again.
Ana turned out to not be a big deal at all, however Bill is pretty damn big, but hopefully moving more North than West.

(lovely visual brought to you by wunderground.com)